Scene 1: Dr. Saunders's office. Whiskey sits at the desk, looking at a chart. Her mood seems sour. EchoCam enters.

EchoCam: Good morning, Dr. Saunders. (looks concerned at Whiskey's depressed demeanor.) Are you not your best?

Whiskey (sardonically): No, I'm great. I'm a hot young woman with the personality of a fossilizing geezer doctor.

EchoCam: Oh. I have thirty-eight personalities, and they all want to kill John Connor.

Whiskey: I thought all of you loved John Connor.

EchoCam: Yes, each of us loves John Connor. That is why we must protect him...from ourselves.

Whiskey: That sounds tremendously conflicting. Have a lollipop?

EchoCam: Thank you. Do you want to hold this bird I found? There is a fifty one percent chance my glitch won't kill it... er... oops... I'm sad now.

Whiskey: 'Cause of the bird, huh.

EchoCam: No. Because I'm supposed to terminate you.

Whiskey swallows as the blood drains from her face. EchoCam appears in silhouette, removing items from beneath her jacket that might be weapons.

Scene ends.

Scene 2: DeWitt's office. Alvarez sits in a chair before the desk. DeWitt speaks to him as she walks around her desk and leans against it.

DeWitt: So why was it so essential for you to find the Dollhouse, Mr. Alvarez? Surely you must have recognized the peril in seeking us out?

Alvarez: Eddie Alvarez needs to get comfortable with his inner freak, so he thought he would infiltrate an organization of people freakier than himself. Then he won't feel so self conscious and can become a team player. I'm Eddie Alvarez.

DeWitt (smiling): That is very amusing, Mr. Alvarez. It is also a complete load. Your real reason for seeking us out, please?

Alvarez (sheepishly): Okay, I'm looking for an NYPD detective named Casey Shraeger. She was running from a ridiculous romantic plot line that embarrassed her so much she said she would give anything to forget it for five years. So Eddie Alvarez's brilliant deductive skills led him...

DeWitt: To the show that recently revealed that the Dollhouse removes the personalities of its "employees" and stores them for five years? Brilliant piece of deduction there, Sherlock.

Alvarez: I'm Eddie Alvarez!

DeWitt: Of course you are. And you are mistaken. Detective Shraeger is not one of our actives, nor is she involved with the Dollhouse in any way. However, your friend Detective Walsh says he spotted her at a strip club downtown, The Serenity. But you'll need to hurry if you want all the credit. And Eddie Alvarez loves getting the credit, doesn't he?

Alvarez: Yes he does! Now if you will excuse me, I must find my self esteem...er, Casey!

Alvarez exits. Close up of DeWitt. She rolls her eyes. DeWitt sits behind her desk and starts to do paperwork when Leo Banks rushes into the doorway. His bullet proof vest is visible beneath his suit jacket, and he wears a hardhat on his head. He braces his hands against the doorjamb as he speaks.

Banks: We have a problem!

DeWitt: People still refuse to take you seriously as security chief? Yes, that is a problem, Mr. Banks, but one you could easily remedy. If you removed your hardhat while you were in the building, the people here might believe that you can keep us safe.

Banks: Hey! After that earthquake buried the Eliza Dushku version of Echo, I ain't takin' chances!

DeWitt: Indeed. If Eliza had been as safety conscious as you, that chunk of rubble wouldn't have struck her temple and killed her instantly. Just imagine! if she'd worn a hardhat, she could have suffocated slowly beneath that pile of debris we found her under! That lucky girl would have had the kind of death we should all aspire to! Slowly and painfully is how I want to go!

Banks: Look, as much as I enjoy being made fun of by someone with a snooty British accent, you need to focus! We have a serious problem here! Echo, the new Echo, I mean, is glitching!

DeWitt: EchoCam? You are telling me that our attempts to imprint a homicidal cyborg has led to a problem of some kind? What is the problem exactly, Mr. Banks?

Banks: She's... um, you know, honestly, I don't think you would believe me if I told you. Would you come with me to the surveillance room?

DeWitt (rising to her feet and moving to the door. She speaks with a hint of impatience): As you wish, Mr. Banks.

Scene ends.

Scene 3: The Serenity. A seedy strip club with tables set before a raised stage. The place is busy. Walsh, Delahoy and Cole sit at a table in the foreground. They celebrate Cole's impending marriage.

Walsh (slightly drunk. raises his beer mug): To Cole, the bestest guy I know. You're getting married. And to Delahoy, the other bestest guy I know. You got a brain tumor. (giggles) You're both screwed!

Delahoy: Hey!

Cole: That wasn't nice! Though, Eric, you are kind of screwed.

Delahoy: I'm screwed? Why am I screwed?

Cole: Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior?

Delahoy: I'm Jewish, so...NO! Anyway, I'm not more screwed than you!

Cole: Huh? Why not?

Walsh: In six months, he's gonna be dead, and you're gonna be wishin' you were. You are both so screwed!

Delahoy: Ya know, you're kind of a downer for a guy whose drunk at a bachelor party.

Cole: Yeah. This is supposed to be a celebration of my marriage. Couldn't you be more... festive?

Walsh: Ain't my job, man. Festive? That's a job for strippers. Speaking of which, where in the heck are they?

Cole: Strippers? I'm getting married in sixteen hours, and you thought I should celebrate in a strip club? (drops head into hands) When my fiancee finds out, I'm gonna be so screwed!

Walsh: If she finds out, you probably won't be. Hey, Delahoy, I guess you're more screwed than he is!

Delahoy: That's great. I hope nothing comes along to distract me from all this joy I'm feeling... Heeelllooooooo!

EchoCam walks on to the stage. She wears a black leather halter top, a plaid skirt, knee high cycle boots, fishnet stockings and an apron. Her hair is tied back in a functional pony tail, with some hair loose in the front that hangs playfully in her eyes. In her hands she balances a mixing bowl, wire whisk and rolling pin with a Thompson submachine gun, a bullwhip and a box of condoms. She seems vaguely unsure of herself, though her presence is stunning; the three cannot speak and simply behold her for a moment.

Delahoy starts dialing his cell phone as Walsh speaks.

Walsh: I am really freaked.

Cole: I am going to heck.

Delahoy (into cell phone): Hello, Doctor? Hey, if weird things turn me on, does that mean my tumor is getting worse? I'm sorry... I need to call you back. (stares lustfully and snaps cell phone shut as EchoCam starts speaking.)

EchoCam: I see words in my eyes that tell me to "terminate" everyone I see. I don't know what that means! I never know what that means! I wake up with these faint pictures in my head. I do things... that should make me sick, but I don't feel anything! What am I? What do these things I'm holding have to do with "terminating" people? Can you tell me which of these things I use to terminate people? How do I terminate people? Please?

Walsh: You use the condoms...

Delahoy: You definitely use the condoms...

Cole (leafing through a Bible): There must be half a dozen sins involving those condoms alone... and then there's the promiscuity and the threat of violence, and... excuse me, miss? Could you tell me whether the goods you bake are leavened or unleavened?

EchoCam (adopts a Martha Stewart tone): Leavened, of course. Proper leavening...

Cole: We're all going to heck.

Walsh: No. No one is going to heck today. This young woman is obviously in great distress and we're gonna help her. (To EchoCam) Why don't you come down and...

(Walsh is interrupted as Casey Shraeger's voice rips across the scene from stage left.)

Casey: For the ten millionth time, I don't give a darn that your name is Eddie Alvarez! And I'm not this Shraeger person you keep asking about! My name is Joan Connor! Now get the heck away from me!

Recognition appears in EchoCam's eyes. She turns to look at the shouting voice. Her heads up display appears on screen, following her gaze. Its imagery is hazy, distorted, and broken by static periodically. When she sees Casey, a young attractive woman dressed in a skimpy cocktail waitress outfit, a targeting overlay appears with the words "LIMA: ASSIST WITH MISSION SUPPORT." The display goes dark and returns, the previous words flicker and vanish and are replaced by "JOHN CONNOR: TERMINATE ON SIGHT" appear. The "H" flickers and winks out, so that "JOHN" becomes "JO N." She keeps her eyes on Casey, a faint smile on her lips, as Cole speaks.

Cole: Miss? Are you okay?

EchoCam (in a whisper): Joan Connor. (She draws the slide back on the tommy gun. Screen cuts to next scene as she opens fire.)

Scene 4: Surveillance room. Darkened room packed floor to ceiling and wall to wall with monitors and audio visual equipment. Banks, DeWitt, Topher and Whiskey sit before a monitor, watching the events of the last scene play out. DeWitt speaks as the gunfire begins.

DeWitt: How did this happen, Topher? And spare me the technobabble! We have no time for it!

Topher: All of Echo's past imprints have emerged at the same time due to a duplexing error in the... (stops as DeWitt's withering, impatient gaze falls on him.) So, long story short: EchoCam's AI is a futuristic version of Windows…

DeWitt: …And Windows remains the shining example of technical brilliance in the future that it is today. Enough said. Moving on. Dr. Saunders, you knew Echo was compromised, yet you neglected to tell anyone. Why?

Whiskey: To be honest, I was weirded out…and a little turned on when she showed me her bullwhip. I was so embarrassed I couldn't talk to anybody. In my own defense, though, I did send you an email. You didn't get it?

DeWitt: Topher?

Topher (to Whiskey): We use Windows for email.

Whiskey: You didn't get it. Sorry.

DeWitt: Well. Now we know what happened. All that remains is to determine what to do to fix this mess. Mr. Banks? You've been quiet for awhile.

Banks: Maybe we'll get lucky and her AI will crash. (machine gun fire and screams emanate from the monitor.) And if that doesn't work, tommy guns fire a bazillion rounds a minute. She's bound to run out of ammo sooner or later.

Whiskey: That's a great solution! Assuming that we don't give a darn whether anyone survives or not!

DeWitt: Actually, letting Echo run amok would solve many of our problems.

Whiskey: Please tell me you're kidding. Echo is death personified! Well, mechanized, anyway. What sort of expediency could possibly justify the carnage she is causing?

DeWitt: If we are lucky, she might kill that annoying Alvarez fellow.

Whiskey: Oh. Well, we better let her have at it, then.

DeWitt: Dr. Saunders, I do not appreciate your sarcasm.

Whiskey: I'm not being entirely sarcastic. Alvarez is annoying. He is trying to bring down the Dollhouse. Every fifth word out of his mouth is "Eddie Alvarez." And what in the heck is up with that mustache? A man who would allow such a horrendous thing to grow on his face deserves to die! But if Echo ends up killing him, it will only be because he got in her way while she was trying to kill some poor innocent girl that happened to have the wrong name. Not to mention the dozens of other innocent people that happened to be in the building when she remembered that terminating people has nothing to do with wire whisks and bullwhips!

Topher: I saw her swat a housefly with a wire whisk once. In her hands, it's a thing of deadliness.

Banks: For people, too, 'cause she tried to put the whisk back into the eggs she was beating…

Topher (to Banks): Can you imagine if you had eaten those cookies she was making? So careful about wearing your Kevlar and your hardhat, only to get taken down by fly cooties. Wouldn't you feel like a dope!

Whiskey: You two really aren't helping.

DeWitt: Yes, that's quite enough. From all of you. Dr. Saunders, it might assist you to know that the innocent girl you are so concerned about is Casey Shraeger, also known as Lima. We imprinted her with the personality of a woman working her way through college as a cocktail waitress at the Serenity. Her job was to convince Alvarez that she is not Detective Casey Shraeger.

Whiskey: You thought Alvarez would buy that? I wouldn't expect that kind of ruse to succeed given that they work together.

DeWitt: True, but Alvarez is self-absorbed and easily distracted by his pursuit of glory. After Lima's performance convinced Alvarez that she was Joan Connor, Echo was supposed to seal the deal by claiming that she knew Shraeger and send him off on a wild goose chase that would get him out of our hair. Unfortunately… (Realization dawns on her face. Her gaze shifts to Topher. He remains unperturbed.) We have a perfectly functional cocktail waitress imprint in the archive named Miranda Smith. Yet, you decided to create a new imprint and give it a name eerily similar to one that Echo has a history with?

Banks: And for an engagement involving both of them, no less. Something ain't right there.

DeWitt: Indeed. Would you care to explain yourself, Topher?

Topher: My brother got the girls when we were growing up. I got the wedgies and the purple nurples. Mostly from him. It was so easy for him. He had a new hottie every week, and I couldn't even get the girls with the braces and faces full of acne to look twice at me. So I pursued being a genius and he went through girls like a dendrite's reuptake pumps go through seratonin when you take a high speed curve…

Banks: That means he went through a lot of girls?

Topher: Oh, yeah! He was a real pig about it, too. Until he met Casey Shraeger. He loves her. When she turned up here, I was shocked. I did nothing, though. I didn't think I needed revenge. If she'd dumped his cruel tush, that was good enough for me. But I was still angry. Then the glitching killing machine turned up and the next thing you know, I'm using my incomparable genius to kill the only woman my brother has ever loved.

Whiskey: If there was ever a person who needed to be sent to the attic…

Topher: But that ain't gonna happen. What is DeWitt gonna do. Say, "Topher, process yourself for the attic! You've been a naughty boy!"

Banks: I could shoot you.

DeWitt: But you won't. Without Topher's indispensable skills, there is no Dollhouse. He knows it. We know it. You get a pass on this one, Topher.

(Topher smirks arrogantly.)

DeWitt: But we shall console ourselves in the knowledge that the same genius that makes you indispensable also guarantees that you will die a virgin. Now, if you will excuse us, the three of us are going to discuss the wildest places we've done it, and virgins are not allowed. Get out of my sight!

(Topher skulks away, wounded.)

Whiskey: What are we gonna do about Echo?

Banks: Yes, when are we going to discuss the wildest places you two have done it?

DeWitt: Enough, Mr. Banks. (aside.) Maybe later. Dr. Saunders, we aren't monsters. We engage in prostitution, murder to protect ourselves, destroy the free will of others and make virgins feel bad about themselves, but we aren't monsters. We will stop Echo. Hand me the deus ex machina. Oh, never mind. (rummages in purse) I have one right here. (Pulls out cell phone.) If I key in a specific code, a C-4 charge will blow Echo's head off.

Whiskey: Why didn't you do this before?

Banks: The charge is powerful enough that anyone close to Echo when it goes off will be injured too. But we've been talking so long that there is little chance of that, since most of the club's patrons are dead by now.

DeWitt (as she dials): That's the democratic ideal of free discussion for you.

(The cell phone emits a beep. DeWitt frowns.)

Banks: Is there a problem?

DeWitt: I'm getting a blue screen of death. You don't suppose Echo's self destruct commands are Windows based also?

Banks: Probably.

Whiskey (at same time as Banks.): Definitely.

DeWitt: Then Mr. Banks will have to go down to the Serenity and try a more hands on approach.

Banks: Huh? What makes me qualified to confront a tommy gun wielding death machine?

DeWitt: I don't know, but they say that clothes make the man, and you are certainly dressed for the occasion. (Sound of collapsing ceiling emanates from monitor.) You'd better wear the hardhat, too. What are you waiting for, Mr. Banks? You had best get down there while there are still people to save.

Whiskey: You know, there isn't really any point in hurrying. This is television. The people who are important to the plot will still be alive when you get there.

Banks (removes his hard hat and vest): You make a good point. (grabs the edge of the tv monitor they have been viewing; it swings open, revealing a mini-refrigerator full of beer.)

DeWitt: Mr. Banks, now is not the time...

Banks: Oh, cram it, DeWitt! (Sits down, kicks his shoes off, puts his feet up, beer in hand.) I'm in the driver's seat now, and this plot ain't goin' forward 'til I'm darn good and ready!

Whiskey: The audience doesn't really need the sense of urgency, anyway. Have you seen how Echo and Lima are dressed? Gotta love fan service.

DeWitt: Indeed. Than I might as well share the summer of 1997. I met a guy who was into some interesting things...

Scene ends.

Scene 5: The Serenity. As Echo opens fire on Casey, some patrons that are in the way are hit and drop. Others flee the mayhem; pandemonium reigns. Casey does her best to evade the gunfire, ducking behind tables, which are promptly shot to splinters. Walsh, Delahoy, Cole and Alvarez fire at Echo. She ignores them and continues advancing on Casey, unharmed by the bullets that strike her. When Casey's death seems imminent, Alvarez jumps in front of her, taking several bullets before pulling her to safety behind the bar.

Alvarez: You were saved... (chokes on blood) by Eddie Alvarez!

Casey: Oh God! Alvarez! (She attempts to staunch the blood loss from his wounds.)

Walsh (Squeezes off two more rounds.): darn it, why won't she drop?

Delahoy: Maybe Victoria's Secret pads their bras with Kevlar now. (fires shot.)

Cole: I always thought the danger of loose women was STD's. (fires two rounds.) I didn't expect this.

Walsh: Yeah. (fires shot.) If she had to kill us, why couldn't she use the bullwhip? We might survive that, and Delahoy would get off on it.

Delahoy: Hardy har har... Oh, shucks!

(They duck a particularly savage burst from the tommy gun.)

Walsh: We gotta distract her somehow!

Delahoy: I have an idea.

Walsh: Do it, then. Casey ain't gonna last much longer.

Delahoy (shouts at Echo): Hey, lady, nice boots! I didn't know they made those in men's sizes!

Walsh: Whoa. I never believed he had a death wish. Until now.

Cole: Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...

EchoCam stops firing and turns to look at Delahoy. Her heads up display fills the screen. A targeting overlay appears over Delahoy, with the words, WARDROBE INSULTED AVENGE AVENGE AVENGE. Wrath contorts her face as she opens fire on him. While she is distracted, Walsh and Cole start running for Casey's position. Delahoy drops. Cole looks back.

Cole: Eric! No!

Walsh: Pillar of salt, Cole! Don't look back!

Cole stops and shoots at Echo. Echo turns, the rage gone from her face. Dispassionately, she sprays him with bullets. He drops, wounded, behind an overturned table and returns fire. Echo ignores him and continues her assault on Casey's position.

Cole: Umm... Hey, lady, your makeup looks good! You must have graduated near the top of your class at clown college!

Walsh: Ah, c'mon Cole! I was only joking before! Marriage ain't gonna suck that bad!

Cole: Never mind me! Find Casey!

Echo's heads up display fills the screen. A targeting overlay covers Cole. The words SAN ANTONIO BALLET ACADEMY INSULTED KILL KILL KILL! appear. Echo's rage returns and the bullets sound like thunder as they rain down on Cole. He ducks, still alive, but unable to return fire under the weight of Echo's assault. Walsh runs through the rubble to Casey's position behind the bar. Casey pounds on Alvarez's chest.

Casey: darn you, Alvarez! If you die on me, I'm gonna be irked!

Casey continues to beat on his chest.

Walsh: He's gone, Casey.

Casey (tear runs down her cheek.): I know. Eddie Alvarez saved my life. I know because he told me his name was Eddie Alvarez. (laughs hysterically.) I'm gonna miss him.

Walsh: Me too. But mourning him will have to wait until the wake. Right now, we need to stop that psychotic stripper... Cole! Look out! (sees Echo shoot Cole, taking him out of the fight, then advance toward he and Casey. He looks desperate for a moment, then notices the damage the poles on two of the stages have taken. Walsh fires a couple of shots into each. They collapse, bringing the ceiling above Echo down on top of her.) I just thought those poles were for dancing. I had no idea they were holding the ceiling up.

Casey: Yeah, building code enforcement is pretty lax in this neighborhood. I hope my next undercover assignment is with the building department. (somewhat more hysterical) Somebody has been lax in making sure the stripper poles in the city's nudie bars are properly load bearing, and that badguy has to pay!

Walsh: Casey...

Casey: You couldn't have told him I was undercover? You had to lead him to believe that the Dollhouse had kidnapped me?

Walsh: I tried! He was so darn clueless it was easier just to let him believe what he believed. Yeah, I had fun feeding him bogus tips. The video I shot of him running from the firefighters, the high school marching band, the feral cats, the New York City Library Board and those ticked off rabbis is on its way to becoming a Youtube classic. How was I to know that a person whose cluelessness could piss off so many different people at the same time would ever find the Dollhouse? But you know what? If he hadn't of been here today, you would be dead now. (Takes breath. Casey's guilt deepens.) Look, I understand your guilt, and I know of only one way to get rid of it. Eddie gave you your life. You owe him, and the only way to pay him back is to make darn sure your life means something.

Casey: You're right. There was no way you could have known. How in the heck did someone so gullible become a police detective?

Walsh: I don't know. Delahoy told a suspect that the photocopier was a lie detector and he believed it. My theory is that we aren't that bright of a species.

Casey: I guess not. (pause.) Thanks, Walsh.

Walsh (smiles): You're welcome And give it time. You'll be okay. C'mon. We need to check on Cole and Delahoy...

The rubble on top of Echo starts to fall as she digs herself out.

Walsh: darn it! Hey, do you remember anything from when you were imprinted that might help us?

Casey: I...was never imprinted. The imprinting machine uses signals encoded in visible light...

Walsh: So you defeated the most sophisticated neurological technology in the world...

Casey: By shutting my eyes. Yeah.

Walsh: Well, we ain't gonna have much time to make our lives meaningful. Wanna do it?

Casey. No. We have more of a brother/sister thing going.

Walsh: I know. (face brightens.) So, I hear incest is the in thing these days...

Banks (rushes in behind them.) Oh god, if I never hear about another abnormal sexual act again, it will be too soon!

Walsh and Casey (together): What?

Banks: Saunders and DeWitt. You don't wanna know what they're into. Umm...long story. Anyway, I've got what you need, Casey. (Pulls a Pocket Simon out of his jacket.)

Casey: What in the heck is that?

Banks: It's a Pocket Simon. It blinks its lights in patterns, and you repeat them.

Walsh: Oh great, you brought a party game to help us pass the nanoseconds of life we have left.

Banks: No. Topher encoded its lights so that it will imprint Casey with Echo's personality and killing skills.

Casey: Finally! I get to kick some tush here! About darn time! (Banks switches the device on and its lights flash in chaotic patterns as Casey stares at them, mesmerized.)

Echo has cast off the last of the rubble and advances toward the three. Walsh starts shooting. Echo ignores the rounds that strike her and raises her tommy gun. She aims dead straight at Walsh and pulls the trigger. Walsh screams aggressively and shoots faster. The tommy gun misfires. Echo casts it away and marches forward. She is about to strike Walsh when Casey steps in front of him. Casey strikes first. She connects solidly with Echo's face, and the bones in her hands snap. Echo advances unperturbed.

Banks: Son of a female dog!

Walsh: What happened?

Banks: Casey has the personality and killing skills of Echo, but not her futuristic space age alloy endoskeleton. (He winces as Echo, unhurt, seizes Casey by the throat.) We're screwed.

Walsh looks at Banks.

Banks: What?

Walsh: You wish Saunders and DeWitt were here now, don't you?

Banks (sheepishly): Yeah...

Roll credits.